Author: Esther Sarlo, BA, Founder | CEO | Myndful Spark of Mynd Myself
What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word ‘grace?’
For me, the word grace immediately conjures up a woman moving or dancing fluidly, perhaps to beautiful music softly playing in the background. Or an athlete in their prime running down a field in pursuit of a goal. Or a mother or father’s gentle touch to their child’s face in comfort. These examples of “elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action” (dictionary.com) and so many more flood into my mind when I think of grace.
Another definition of grace I want to bring to the forefront today is the extension of grace to another being. Grace meaning “mercy, clemency, pardon, favour” (dictionary.com.) It’s easy to be kind to those we love—and who are treating us well. It is an entirely different thing to be merciful to those who may be more difficult to love and who may treat us badly.
Why, you ask, should you extend grace to someone? Well, because, ultimately, it benefits you even more than it does the one to whom you are being merciful. You may have heard the idea that when we hold onto resentments, we are letting someone live rent-free in our minds. I believe the same thing holds true for grace. When you share grace with another, you are actually reducing your own stress.
My task (and yours if you choose to join me) is to see how quickly I can let go of a perceived insult, disrespect, or belittlement. Yes, it’s important to feel my feelings. Then I have a choice about what I’m going to do with those feelings. Will I strike out in defense or revenge? Will I ‘give as good as I get?’ Will I suffer in silence—holding onto my wounded feelings? Or, will I take a breath, move my body to shift my state, and make a choice to release those feelings. From that state, I am much more able to offer grace and forgiveness toward the person who I perceive has ‘wronged’ me.
Elie Wiesel, Holocaust survivor, author, and Nobel Peace Prize Laureate says, “For me, every hour is grace.” In circumstances of unimaginable misery and loss, this man chose grace.
If you’re up for it, I invite you to practice with the easy ones first. Maybe extend grace to someone you love who is having a bad day and verbally ‘striking out’ at you. You may or may not say your words aloud to them. The important part is doing this for you. Then, as you get better and better at it—and perhaps more committed to it—extending grace may become a natural extension of who you are. A soul who is coming from a present and heart-centered resonance. You never know what beauty you may find in unexpected places as one of the gifts of grace.
In the critically acclaimed novel Gilead, Marilynn Robinson says, “Love is holy because it is like grace–the worthiness of its object is never really what matters.” I know my life would be richer if I lived this more fully. How about you?
